Life in a teenage drama series?

Luvenia Kalia

2011-05-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

This year started out fresh. I made a stupid mistake because I was lonely and I was worth nothing. I am not the person I used to be and I wish that was a good thing. My confidence is burried somewhere in the past. So deep, that I can't reach it anymore. I wish I knew how to be that confident Luvenia I used to be. My social circle expanded this year. I feel like I have been jumping from circle to circle because I am afraid of emotional drama but somehow it always happens. Maybe being on my own just works for me. I can't help feeling like something is missing. Like I could do so much better than I am.

This time was different, it was way more special , it ment a hell lot to me but it ended due to impulse and misunderstanding. I can't help thinking that we could have been something. That we didn't let it happen. I blame myself completely and well things just don't happen the way you want it to sometimes but it was a few of the happiest moments of my life.

"If this goes in, we are ment to be"

Luv

2011-01-26T07:02:00.001-08:00

I have been ignoring the fact that I have a blog. Probably because I was too busy living this life that I have. Everything has been, absolutely insane. In 2010, I stayed in love, i stumbled and stumbled. I regreted, I suffered , I got through hardship. You know what , this year is going to be different. I made the mistake of falling, falling hard not as bad as the last but it was real. It was something. As fickled as this person may be. I knew I didn't want to loose him. Not as a friend. Maybe a part is gone but everyone needs a friend and I will be there for him no matter what.

I will be blogging. =)

Woman by birth , cheerleader by choice.

2010-08-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

Youth jam, the apparent talk of the month? Penang cheer conference? The last minute add on. I really hope this gets star to bring back northern region=) Well, here goes everything.

Vivacious,
Cheryl is leaving me to the lead the squad for the event. For some reason I just lack the confidence. So much potential but how are we going to bring out the best in them? My love for the squad, and my faith in my fellow cheerleaders is truly stronger than my own self confidence. Vivacious, we are going back next year , stronger and better than ever. For Penang, For SGGS, for the team, VIVACIOUS!

VIVA LA VIVA,

let's kick some cheering ass =)

*no idea what that means.

Sleep

2010-08-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

I so realised that I need to talk to someone before I sleep. What is better than talking to a skinny white guy who looks like chicken little and stay halfway around the world =) It is so much better than any regular bedtime story. =)

lindsey, you perv =)

Rollercoster of life

2010-08-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, I haven't been blogging.

My blog is a flow of my emotions,

and now, they are all gone,

my emotions.

This year,

I experienced the lost of many companions, many loved ones.

It is either I loosed them by the separation of different world but our souls stay connected.

Or i loose them by soul but we could see each other every week?

To stitch,

I miss you sweetheart.I will miss all the beautiful babies you made. Now, pretty is all alone needing more attention than she can get.

To tiny,

What made you leave? I don't know. I would have been able to take your cold body to the vet but I wanted to see you for the last time. I am sorry I was not there for you baby. I love you =( I remembered when you were the little one. You were the first born but the smallest out of all. We kept you, thinking nobody would be able to take care of something so small. It was a brainstorm thinking of a name for you until we went to the vet and we realised how small you were on the weighing scale and I said "tiny"! You overjoyed little thing. Wish you were here.R.I.P

To Adrienne,

Your lost was like a natural disaster. You meant so much to many people. Due to the tributes on facebook that was proven. You leaving us made us hold hands, share sorrow and collect tears of people we have never met before. We had it the way you wanted but I am sorry I couldn't be as happy as you wanted me to be. He misses you and I will do whatever I can to make him a happier person. R.I.P Adrienne Lim.

I had to take a candid because you would never let me take a picture.

Thinking about them makes me wonder how many more I am going to loose?

but thank you. To all who have made me happy,

and thank you lindsey! You have no idea how much you cheered me up just by having a long conversation of 6 hours to start my day =) miss you loads!

Come home.

2010-06-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

A dog, that wasn't all he was to me.

He was, he IS family.

Do you ever have no one to talk to?

That you talk to your pet.

I have.

Because they look at you with their big, round, watery eyes like they understand.

Like they are trying to comfort you.

It is strange.

Call me crazy but I believe he understood me.

Now, he is out there. Kidnapped? Alone?

I don't know.

To whoever took him, I hope they look after him.

If he is still out there,

Come back, I miss you =(

My friend, my companion, my baby....

COME HOME.

As a baby....
With his babies....

COME HOME,stitch.

I miss you!

Luv

Walking away?

2010-05-20T04:46:00.000-07:00

Usually everything occurs one by one.

Not this time.

This time it is like a big fat slap across my face.

And I am a wall.

The wall in between heaven and hell.

I am torn in between the two.

I am in the centre of everything.

One after another.

Everyone is breaking, falling and slowly dying.

What am I doing?

Watching, for I have done my best to help in every way possible.

So now breaking that wall and letting hell and heaven collide.

I am walking away , walking away from the troubles in my life.

Thank you Craig David for showing me the way. =)

I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away

sometimes some people get me wrong
when it's something I've said or done
sometimes you feel there is no fun
that's why you turn and run
but now I truly realise
some people don't wanna compromise
well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies
and well I don't wanna live a lie, too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights, I'm sorry to say lady

I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away

Well I'm so tired baby
things you say you're driving me away
whispers in the powder room baby
don't listen to the games they play
girl I thought you'd realise
I'm not like them other guys
coz I saw them with my own eyes
you should've been more wise
and well I don't wanna live a lie, too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights, I'm sorry to say lady

I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away

"I am sorry you watched my cry and thank you for holding me in your arms and sharing all my sorrow and showing me where I truly belong, right there, with you, at that very moment. A moment that I will cherish forever"

I wish deep down I was Scarletina.

Luv

Friendship

2010-05-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

It is hard being a teenager.

You have relationships.

You have social status.

You have friends.

You have enemies.

You even have frenemies.

We live in fairy tales all the time. Thinking everything is okay because we want it to be but how many of us have sat down and thought about the flaws in life and actually call ourselves happy? Friendship, when they are girls you are afraid they will hate you for some reason, when they are lesbian you are afraid the might get turned on by you, when they are gay you are afraid they might comment on your appearance, when the are guys you are afraid they might be in love with you but who is to believe? What is the world coming to? Do we have to be afraid to be friends? Do we have to be afraid of getting hurt over and over again? Do we have to take in everything?

Many people say 'I am here for you' but the reality of the fact is that everyone is alone. You can never rely on other people to make you happy because when someone leaves you crumble and they leave you with memories and regret and question that start with 'What if?'. I want a friend. A friend that is there for me all the time, a friend that I understands me like I do. Is that possible? NO. Nobody can make you feel better about yourself than you. You are your own friend. So here is a week of thinking for me before I open my eyes to things I don't want to see.

Friendship used to mean understanding, love, peace and honesty.

What happened?

CHANGE.

or not.

Point of view

2010-05-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

Everyday, I walk somewhere and usually at familiar places but every time i am alone I think and every time it feels different. Just staring at the people around you and how the environment and your surrounding affect your mood and your emotions. I realised even the weather is capable of affecting what goes on in my head. It is amazing, the amount of flashbacks that occur in my head during a 10 minute walk home. So many bad memories can be laughed about and so many things just don't feel like that big a deal. But, there are those bitter few which will remain nothing but a scare. Sometimes , you wish things were like it used to be but at the same time you wouldn't want to relive certain things. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. We people suck. We don't appreciate the little things that we have then a million people would kill to have.

So, I was thinking. Why thin? Why not fat? Why clear skin? Why straight hair? Why hair? Why?? WHY? Why is it, that half the world think of themselves as an ugly person or a fat person ? Who is that person who decided that pretty is pretty and ugly is ugly. Who decided what is right and what is wrong. Who decided all this? Why is it some of us try so hard to look to fit in? because they write songs , the write articles about how you should believe in yourself and how everyone is beautiful but seriously look around you. You never see an ugly model on the runway. You never see a plum fitness trainer. You never see actors that are what we call 'ugly'. So, I say screw the ass face who decided what is beautiful and what is not because everyone is beautiful on the inside and on the outside.

Love

2010-05-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

Love?

What is love?

Love is when you think of only one person when you watch a love story. Love is when you feel like the world revolves around two people. Love is when you see your reflection in ones eyes. Love is when you look up to the stars hoping someone else is looking at that exact star thinking of you.

Romantic?

This is exactly what every average girl my age would say.

"He makes me feel like a princess","He is my one and only","I can be myself only around him", Sound familiar?

What am I trying to say?

Love is not worthy of any of these lines, because love is indescribable. No words can explain LOVE.

When do you know your in love?

Not when you look at the mirror and smile to yourself. Not when you look at a text message and instantly feel happy. Not when you forget to eat because your in your own world.

Love happens when it happens and there are no symptoms or signs, it is not like lightning that strikes you and then disappears because love grows day by day.

So, when a person asks me "Are you in love?"

I say "I am falling in love over and over again"

Ass face

2010-04-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

We go way back don't we?

From writing your name on the board to endless, pointless conversations.

You are an ass face but an awesome friend! =D

Lucifer, you will always be gay to me =)

Another day.

2010-04-27T04:53:00.000-07:00

I am officially freaked out by myself.

I don't know who I am anymore,

Today, a long random day of studying.

I kinda forgot how it felt to be alone.

Gosh it sucks.....Anyways updates?

1. Modern inter exam fee! wow. bomb shell

2. Tokyo hotel, here I come. Pretty much the perfect way to bond with the ex wife =)

3. DBR, here I come?

4. I am sooo failing my exams =S..

5. LUVENIA KALIA seems to be missing. Can anyone find her?

From then til now....

2010-04-27T04:48:00.000-07:00

Picture of 2007

No promises..

Because she is Luvenia Kalia

2010-04-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

Life.

I actually miss 2009.

Things were awesome back then.

How do I feel? I feel like my attention is on the people who just don't give a shit and I want them to give a shit. The people who give a shit, I give more shit.

Because I give a shit and people just don't like me giving a shit they are afraid to give a shit? Seriously? I am alone. On this, I am alone. What do I say? When I don't want to say anything. What do I say when I don't know if it is the right thing to say. How do I do this without breaking a heart?

Maybe he is right, I don't care if people hurt me. As long as their happy. but Indirectly I do care about myself because I am happy when people are happy.

YES I AM A SAD,CONFUSED SOUL.

What happened to happiness?

what happened to all for one and one for all?

What happened to all the promises?

What happened to all of us?

What happened to us?

What happened to you?

I knew I am a bitch but hey, bitches have feelings.

i wish you knew....

Fame UP and over.

2010-04-26T07:06:00.000-07:00

Sense the intensity? 16 th, 17th , and 18th April. The dates of Fame UP The Musical? I believe not. Fame up started in November and when did it end? It hasn't. To everyone of us who experienced this wonderful production together the spirit of Fame UP will never die. So people come up to me and say, "Luvenia, another job well done, another one of your shows." but I say this was not any ordinary 'show'. This was an experience of hard work,dedication and a whole lot of love and friendship. From this production, I met new people, I learnt to love the people I know and I have learnt to appreciate the people around me. The behind the scenes of this production was absolutely spectacular. I could say more really but no words can describe the way I feel about every single one of you who sacrificed your time, sweat and tears to make this production a wonderful memory, a success and a place in our hearts. To all the people behind that black curtain, you guys are respected for a job well done to selflessly make sure that the performers had the comfort of giving their all. To all of you who went out there in front of all those people and performed your hearts out, I am so proud of you. I never really wanted to write this blog post because I only have a post for when something is over and Fame UP is never exactly over. Reunion, every year, 16th April. What say you?

I'm supposed to live forever, but now my skins really dry! why!!!! what happened to all the glamour!?? People will see me and cry! die!!!!!

Scarletina never dies.

She lives inside of me, now and forever.

Rose, I am still after you!

Reid, IT IS OVER! LOL =)

Scarletina Harloch

Slap of reality

2010-03-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

I was afraid this would happen one day.
When I am alone and not distracted and left to think. To think about life. I get the slap of reality. Everything that I have been running away from. Sucks to be me. To realise how much I am not over it. To realise how much responsibility I hold. To realise how much I am not capable of. Have you ever felt so responsible for so many things you just can't handle? Have you ever felt like some mistakes that isn't yours is somehow in a twisted way your fault. You are breaking me. I don't know what to do. I don't what to say. I want to give up yet I can't leave you reckless and stupid. Yes, I care. I really do. It is not fair. I just want to kill you yet I understand. Stop it. Stop it for me. If not for me, for you.
She. Is. such. a. bitch. and yet I blame no one but myself. I will not let that happen again. History will not repeat itself. I will not blame myself for the future screwed up you. I could have helped her . I gave up but that is not happening. I will not give up on you no matter how much you hurt me because you need someone and if there is no one to be there and put you in place, I will. Change is obviously what you need.

Luvenia Kalia is not afraid to admit that:
1. I don't like the things you do
2. I miss her
3. I am afraid of you
4. I wish things were like when we were kids
5. I want to hide from the world.
6. I don't believe in myself.
7. I have a screwed up past
8. I want to run far away.
9. I am a stubborn bitch.
10. I need you, all three of you.

I HATE BEING SLAPPED BY REALITY.

2010-02-23T05:07:00.000-08:00

So last december, I met this girl. She is just plain hardcore insanity. We totally bonded and had loads of fun. You should so see her drunk because she goes all hay hay!!!! INSANE PARTY CHICK! What will you do without me and Asita looking after you? LOL! She is an AWESOME dancer (ex DBR what...) =D. I miss you, girlfriend. Next time I come I will do weird stuff to your hair and we shall dance to random music in the car AGAIN! Wish I was there to spend your 21 years of pollution and chaos in Malaysia =D HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABESHA V ABBYGAIL!!!

I miss you and wish it was December all over again =D have a blast!

Cheers *holds a long island up in the air*

I MISS YOU!

2010-02-20T22:44:00.000-08:00

That night I was alone. The night I lost him. The night I thought everything would be over. Everyone asleep, but me? Eyes filled with tears, a heart filled with sorrow and an empty soul. That is what I saw last night, a glimpse of me. I was alone, I didn't want you to be and that is what made me realise how useless I am. I really am lost for words and I really don't know what to do. I don't know how you did it. How you supported me. I would tell you to be strong but that would be hypocritical because you are stronger than I would ever be and I am not the bigger person. So, I lay there thinking of something to say but I was just lost of words. A hug, a hand was all I could give. I am sorry i can't help you the way you helped me. I am sorry I just don't know what to do. I can't see you like this because I feel useless that I can't do anything to help you. All I know is you deserve better. So, let it pass, blow it away, be happy and don't end up like me, the worst example ever, a person who regrets and stresses over spilt milk. I love you and I miss you. The real YOU. I miss my best friend. Where have you gone? I will wait for you to find yourself, so we can go back to those happy times. Remember?

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

So the walls came tumbling down
And your love's a blown out candle
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

The day after mamma mia

A BLAST FROM THE PAST

2010-02-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

When it is all dead and gone.

When everything seems perfect.

When nobody can get in your way of becoming the person you want to be.

when your past is nothing but a faded shadow.

EVERYTHING can change in a split second.

As I stood there I realised they were everywhere.

The shadows of my past returning right before my eyes.

That scent,those faces, so familiar.

As I lay here in the middle of the night,

All the flash backs returned to me,

Things I refuse to remember.

The things i erased from my mind or at least tried to.

Was still there.

Yes, I have been lying to myself,convincing myself that all of that never existed.

but only I know the truth.

The conclusion is at the end of the day there is only me.

Just like tonight,

A glimpse of how lonely I really am was tonight.

A glimpse of how stupid I was, tonight

A glimpse of how things changed , tonight.

A glimpse of everything i wish was never there, tonight

A glimpse of the past.

Change

2010-02-01T04:38:00.000-08:00

Change.
It seems to be the topic of the year.
I don't get it. Sometimes people just aren't ever happy with what they have.
I have gave up of being sad.
Change. Some good, some bad but we learn to enjoy it.
I love every part of my life NOW and try to ignore the sad parts.
I finally got back to the reality of being LUVENIA KALIA. The girl who never has time for herself.
Yeah, sometimes I enjoy it but sometimes I just worry to make other people feel neglected.

FAME UP!
DAMN! I haven't had so much confidence in a production before. Who would have known Georgians can be so talented. Everything has been falling into place with the help of everyone. I have met some very weird people that make me feel normal! lol. Some juniors totally bring out the confidence in me. LOL! I love you tiny people.
Watch out Penang here comes the next best thing =D

Vivacious!!!!!
MY OH MY! The talent! I have been distant from the squad this year but GOD I miss it. Viva is always their in mind and heart. Who knew I would miss it so much?? So I am thinking, will the girl with crazy facials be at cheer competition this year? To be continued.

Guys!
You know who you are. I miss MCD with you guys. It is crazy ,the distance. Things just a'int the same. I feel like we are tearing a part. Looking forward to a MCD outing.

TFA system is kind of different now. Let us see how things turn out. Exams are on my birthday? wow! lol.

FORM 4 ISN'T AS HARD AS IT APPEARS SO FAR. =D

luv

A leap from 2009 to 2010

2010-01-11T04:02:00.000-08:00

I know I'M LATE. but what the hell. 2009, you were the best year of my teenage life so far. If things could get better than that it would be a miracle. This year, I grew up,I changed, I found myself and I got what I wanted. I couldn't ask for more. Everything just felt perfect and I wasn't looking forward to the end of the year. Let us have a glimpse of the many events that made my life worth living (in no particular order)

Valentine's eve day the production of Live,laugh,love

Thaipusam, the day much was revealed.

Divali party at Kalia's house, more awesome than expected

Miss Saree Queen, who knew I could model?

Roti bakar and french toast, What a crazy day

Greenapple ballet academy's anual charity concert, A beautiful success

Random awesome foursome outing, those were the days,bitches

Kumar's party, In flare we get CRAZY!

Relay for life, a heart warming experience

A day at Keez salon, where the P and L fight started

Retro much? The everything began

Gurney with the freaks, we realised how much we have in common =D

Bays water, whats up?

Youth jam! Unleash your inner cheerleader?

Pharmacist awards and first trip to KL alone, self absorbed =D

The BBQ party, tell me you love me?

Pooja's wedding, Where Kalia met DBR =D

Double trouble, love is in the air =D I love you, Dharsh and Ash =D

Dharshini's birthday madness, I feel five!

Confessions of the dance floor , you spin my head right round right round

Chala chala, old flames burn

International belly dance competition, Eqyption princesses =D

Bagan bollywood partay!!!! YOU GOT ME BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY =D

Bangla movie shooting, Ami romeo,tumi juliet ?

IMRAN KHAN live @ Mist, Bangsar,YOU SEE US ROLLING DOWN THE STREET MOVE OUT! MOVE OUT!

The end of PMR, lower secondary =D

The phantom of the opera, I gotta feeling that tonights gonna be a good night. Emotions and sexiness lol!

CHEER NATIONALS 2009, The day Kheen Ho got sexy with Isabelle. lol! Viva LA VIVA!

2010, try topping that! =D To all the people who have contributed to my year, my MCD gang, my bestest of best, my loved one, d'Bolly Rockerz,Vivacious, Greenapple, Jazzada, and now The show stoppers. Let's rock 2010 and top the untopable =D I love you guys!!!!!!!!!!

D'bolly rockerZ

2009-12-26T01:09:00.001-08:00

These holidays were very much different than the others. It wasn't pretty much one of the best holidays I have ever had and I owe it all to D' Bolly rockerZ . If you haven't heard about them you must be under a rock. (jokes) They are Malaysia's number one bollywood dance group and I was lucky enough to be a part of them.=D

Nipun C, also known as an amazing dancer and a spontaneous bull shitter =) (sahil ask to say)If you haven't seen him dance, you don't know what your missing. The one I got to know first,who called me fat on our first msn conversation. One hell of a guy you are =D and I am so happy that I've met you ,DOK. Be sure to catch him on Dance India Dance ,zee tv at the nearest television set =D The word of the day is legs. Spread the word =D

Ram Lakhan Nandrajog, he made me sick of the song AMPLIFIER the moment I met him. I would say you have to literally look up to him due to his height. He is a very nice guy (sometimes) but not very humble.(sahil ask to say) I owe him thanks for every thanks and for never letting me carry my own bag, crashing his house and listening to the complicated story of my life story at 3 in the morning.Well, he has his ways of cheering me up . LAKHAN MAKHAN lets have some long island.. =D

This would be Suresh a.k.a Mr Kurap. Most of the words you see in the brackets of this post is due to his kurap-ness. I owe him for sending me home without knowing the way and being forced to trust my screwed up directions. Well, he is the (matured) one. LOL! Suresh is one of a kind because of his straight forwardness and I definitely enjoy having heart to heart conversations with him =D Think before you say something to him. He will not hesitate to KURAP with you. GO SOUTH! (sometimes)

Sahil Patel, the gujju,president of the SDS youth. LOL! He is always there to say "you are too blur la!" He also refers to secret recipe cakes as CRAVINGS. Another one i often torture with my horrible sense of directions. He is also the one always coming up with the plans to send me home.LOL! Not to mention he even send me home back to Penang. I have yet to figure out why everyone calls him mango.. hmmm..OH well =D Remember people, don't simply blame Sahil, sensetive issue =D

GOD! I thought I was hyper! This would be Jasmin Jasani a.k.a Charbs. LOL. She is crazy and extremely hyper. I had tons of fun nakamuka-ing with her=D I will never forget the time she asked me "where is the door to open the door?" lol! She runs around saying heh heyyyyy. This woman would say ANYTHING even when her mother is around. Just a random fact-she wears really funky pants =D We had our first shi sha together =D I love you!

Asita Patel, she would call me KALIYEEE! Every time we meet.Damn, this girl can really shop. I think she gets a shock every time I turn up at temple. We can talk about old filmy songs for hours. I experienced shopping with her for a whole day and took my first Monorail. I completely weirded her out with my expression on the ride. lol! It was extremely hilarious eating pizza and watching Dance India Dance with her at Aunt Margerat's place. We were screaming nonstop! lol!

Sabesha Abbigail Visuvanathan! (I hope I spelt that right) She is a total nutcase. Always cheering everyone up with her crazy sound effects (beih..) He weird accent just brings joy to the situation. I laugh even when she is trying to be serious. It was fun just dancing with her at the back of the car and playing with her hair and getting completely emotional for no reason. Her speciality is offering strangers tequila shots and she never shuts up (tutup atas) She claims to be an ex DBR but she knows that she is always a DBR by heart. Dbr or ex Dbr? Two oso can.

Why is DBR so awesome? Firstly,because of the fun lepaks.

Secondly,because of the crazy stuff we do

Thirdly, how everyone is so close and carefree

Fourthly, because of how much we appreciate the presence of each other.

And lastly, because of how despite all the difficulties, we always shine when we deserve to...

So here is a toast to my new friends a.k.a D'Bolly RockerZ.

Remember, when you see us rolling down the street, move out, move out!

Chao wei take care ah!

Luv

Christmas 2008

2009-12-26T00:51:00.000-08:00

The day everyone turned their back on me except one.

"Don't let them ruin your christmas"

2009-12-10T22:42:00.000-08:00

Hey people!!! I know i haven't been the best blogger but hell it has been busy!!!
I have been in KL for the last 3 weeks and so far i have:
1. danced danced and danced
2. been part of a bangladesh movie
3. visited TFA KL
4. Went out with dear cousin Carisma
5. Been called Kalia everyday of my life
6. Made friends (alot)
7. Officially been given the title chibhai
8. go through finals of miss Malaysia tourism queen
9. and alot more which shouldn't be mentioned here.
10. Missed everyone in Penang

From now on this blog is no longer private. =D

Guys in Penang, fellow fame uppers, vivas,friends and family i apologise if my absence has caused any misunderstandings or difficulties. In other words I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

Dharshini Shankar stop falling sick
Keshav Indran I am not angry with you
Paalan behave
Chittesh, Stupid cousin stop telling everyone I'm a superstar.

Announcement: To those who intend to attend Imran Khan live in Mist Bangsar KL on the 17th of December 2009. Tickets are now RM 60 per person. For further details please refer to our page on facebook http://www.facebook.com/keshie?ref=mf#/event.php?eid=192783798972&index=1 or call 010 2080170 or me 0164767813 =D

Another lost.

2009-11-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

Things have been depressing for on the 13th of November a niece, a student, a daughter and a friend had passed away. Sometimes I wonder why her? A person so full of love, so happy, so strong. A person who could have gave so much to this world. She lost her brother when she was eight and fought for her life at the age of 16. Her death had effected many of us.

As I walked in the room full of people crying. I walked closer and I saw her there, pale dressed in one of her favourite outfits. Her mother trying to hold back her tears. Her father trying to stay strong. I sat right in front of her, expressionless. As everyone blessed her by putting flowers and feeding her holy water, it came to my turn and i couldn't bare the look of her and finally broke down to tears. I admired her father's strength as he tried to hold back his tears and put on a fake smile so that i would stop crying but it didn't help.

As the body was about to be turned into ashes I saw my dad break down into tears witnessing the pain of a father loosing his one and only daughter. I gave my dad a hug hoping it would make him feel better and told him that i was always going to be there for him. But she didn't have a choice, did she? We could all go anytime. How am I to keep that promise.

There was a flame in my heart that was getting bigger and bigger. This was officially the most painful thing I have ever been through. I stood there remembering the awesome day I spent with her in Ipoh when we first met. We had so much fun talking about random stuff.I also remembered when I went to pay a visit at the hospital. She was suffering with unbearable pain and yet she was laughing at smiling with our presence. At the same time, I remembered my grandmother's funeral and how I went completely hysterical when they closed her coffin. I watched her dad stand strong but before they sent her body to be turned into ashes he stood in front of the body, shook his head and burst into tears. Once the body was gone he came out and said to me "your not going home. Your staying with me. Now that she is gone. You are all I have left."

Sometimes life just isn't fair. We don't appreciate what we have until it is gone. This has been one of the most torturing experience for me. Chandni Sharma may not be here anymore but she will always be close to me at heart. We always says it's okay she has gone to a better place. When those words are nothing but assumptions and a way to cover up the silence when trying to cheer someone up when actually none of us know what happens when the soul is separated from the body.

13th November, 10 pm, Chandni Sharma took her last breath and changed all our lives.
You will be missed.

To where you are

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away is not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away is not far
To where you are

R.I.P
Chandni Sharma

Its been a while eh?

2009-11-08T05:44:00.001-08:00

Basicly i have been really lazy. To update my blog.
So here is what has been going on.

I went to Kuala Lumpur had and awesome time at Aunty Margerat's place besides the fact that i got lost a few times.lol! I met loads of new people. Had some DBR time. Watch a hindi movie in a cinema after a longggg time. Payed a visit to mumbai se. Met up with old friends, got a pedicure,went shopping. Overall , I felt like a Beverly hills bimbo =D.
So thank you:
Adrienne Lim
Lindsay
Aunty margerat
Aunty jenny
Aunty heidi
Aunty Julie
Nipun Chhabra
Rohit Rampal
Ravin Rampal
Rahul Rampal
Suresh
Sahil Patel
Asita Patel
Sabesha V abigail
Raaj Kapoor
Hafeez Khairuddin
Shereen Liang
Sharlene Liang

for making my KL trip awesome =D

NOW, I am back in Penang but not for long. On the 20th of November I will be heading to KL again for my stage 4 bharatanatyam exams this time hopefully with Dharshini =) It is going to be a blast. While everyone goes back I will be staying on until the 17 December because well DBR time and we have Imran Khan coming down on the 17th of December =D On the 18th the family and I will be heading to Malacca. So from now on life becomes an adventure AGAIN.

luv

IM BACK!!!!

2009-10-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

I would love to tell you guys everything I have been up to in detail but i don't think i'll be able to.. lol! so this is what I have been doing briefly...

I guided a bunch of major talented kids on some bollywood moves =D so cute
I joined Miss Saree queen, met some new friends and went there with Shereen

Awwweeeddd my way through the movie the ugly truth with Rash,Dharsh, MQ,Zuhad and Jan

Got a hair cut!!!!

Has an awesome day with the girls

Had to say goodbye to the girl who made me a much more hardworking person and inspired me to be the person I am...Erin ching i will miss you

and ended my day with two complete idiots Sean and Kieren. LOVE YOU GUYS

Highlights:
1.PMR IS OVER
2. Mystic dream is gonna be huge
3. I got a dance exams on sunday
4. have an open house on sunday
5.got toasties on saturday
6. Misses bonez
7. Love my hair
8. I got new shoes
9. I DON't SMOKE
10. I have miss saree finals this friday
11. I off to KL next wednesday night =D

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

2009-09-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

I know i kinda said no blogging for a while but a lil blogging never hurts right. HAHAH...
SO.... The supposed to be not so holidays was still kinda of a holiday... PICTURES will be uploaded on face as my pre pmr more. I went to Ipoh last Friday because uncle Nath (R.I.P) passed away it was really sad but at least he isn't suffering anymore.Yes! I did high light my hair. It was supposed to be blonde but turned out orange. lol! Just for the fun of it. Now i just need a hair cut. lol! After Ipoh, we went to KL. We reached at about 8 ish. The next day, my puasa bermula. Lol! Minus the fact that i can actually eat fruits but I still didn't.

On the way to KL I CRIED MY BRAIN OUT WATCHING HEAVEN ON EARTH. but the ending was really sucky

So the next day, Rohit and Nipun woke up late.-.- and picked me up. Apparently I am the rich bitch. LOL! Yes and we went to Rohit's house and there is where I met Shantini and Suresh(non dance floor mode) after a while we headed of to Seremban for the show. I saw cute lil boys in kondes dancing around topless. HAHAH! and on the toilets. It was quite fun. Nipun,Rohit and Suresh are the most annoying nice people i have ever met. Lol! The nest day I went to temple and saw the dandiya going on but i still find it strange that the boys and girls take turns. Surprisingly i new a lot of people.

That is basically the highlight of my KL TRIP.

Other updates:
1. My PMR IS COMING UP
2. I am taking JAZZ BRONZE,TAP BRONZE AND JAZZ SILVER in one day.
3. I have a hell load of punjabi suits.
4. I have roti bakar and french toast to participate in.
5. I have a hell load of paper work to do for Mystic dreams.
6. I need someone to do my name card
7. The show stoppers are gonna get to work.
8.Diwali is coming soon
9. I am going to Kl on the 20 something of October
10. I am hitting the beach on the last day of PMR =)

TO ALL MY FELLOW MUSLIM FRIEND Selamat hari raya aidilfitri maaf zahir dan batin. =)

Pre study mode!

2009-09-05T03:57:00.000-07:00

So, this is kinda like my last exciting blog after this it is probably gonna be really really short. There were few event I went for so I decided to call it pre study mode! lol It started with youth jam! Me and Dharsh coach some cheer and stuff nothing intensive just basic stuff. It was really fun =) I went to her house on Friday because she just joined Mr Faruk's tuition that mean I am no longer the only girl. yay! LOL! I was there until like 12 and the next two days she stayed over. As usual we had our hyper moments and also our emo moments. What can I say? We are always sticking up for each other.

We met other cheerleaders! Really happy, preppy and funny! Bring up the cheer spirit in Penang! and keep up the hard work =)

I met some new people too! Well not really I kinda see them everywhere but they are really funny and annoying ! lol! Bil and Yugen!

Later that day, my little Sean joined us =) Things got pretty while at night but we were only in the crowd for a while. A i said I am not that party girl I used to be. =) Things are pretty laid back these days =)

I hung out with two of my awesome friends/ moral support. I gotta warn you they are really weird and hyper just like me!! LOL Sotong ikut size =) After the count down, we went home and I am so proud of Sean because he went straight home =)

This is Sean Andrew Dashunta Dawson. Childhood friend/pretend boyfriend/body guard/ moral support. =) He is a really awesome guy but he is damn stupid! He just acts gangsta but he is actually just a kid inside =) He isn't dirty or scary he just acts that way but he is harmless =)

That was my pretend boyfriend. This is for real =) He has been a part of my life for almost three years and trust me his soul has never stopped watching over me. Ashwin Sraveanan I really believe you are my forever. =) Okay! back to the point. On Merdeka night, I joined my 'in laws' went for Chinese dinner which is very seldom for me. So it was quite entertaining.

This is Rishant, the camwhore in denial ! lol! He is awesome but he bullies he a lot and tries to talk in hindi. LOL! but overall very fun and nice to talk to. He laughed at me for thinking the garlic on the table was cheese.

Last night, the family went for dinner because it was the last night that my aunty and uncle from U.S is gonna be here. They came after 10 years. It was really crazy! Drama I tell you. My family is nuts and that is why I love them to bits. =)

Chittesh you missed out on all the drama. GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS!!!!!
This is us playing with my uncle's mac air. cool eh?

Alright guys this is the end of my excitement for a month =) Those who are having exams now. Good luck =)

A small shout out:
Keshav, I so sorry for your lost and I am always here to talk =)

Dharsh, life is like that sometimes. You will get over it your a strong girl =) just remember if you don't stand up for your rights you are wrong for not letting the person know how you feel.

Chittesh, I can't wait until exams are over. Sabah jungle here we come!!

Paalan, bitch I love you and all but your such a bitch. lol! I am getting over everything but you haven't really proved you deserve to be forgiven but I am still here if you need anything.

Sean, you know I love you and I say things for a reason. For your own sake. I really care about you because I believe your a mature and very nice person you just don't show it but I know it. So never ask me why I care.

Isabelle and Mee Quin, I am starting to worry that things won't be the same next year. We are gonna be no longer the back of the class crew. I won't let that happen and i hope you guys feel the same. M.I.L.D forever.

Ashwin, I miss you. Every time something goes wrong we find our way out and that is why I know we will always be us. You are my wonderwall and will always be =)

World, I am not a bad person and I don't hate. I just a broken soul trying to heal and everyday things are getting better thanks to the people I love. So if you are someone who is trying to break me or hurt me. As daddy says, UP YOURS! =D

OKAY BYE GUYS!!!!!!!!!!
I am ending this blog post with the song of my year 2009 due to personal reasons ask me sometime =) Love you guys!!! I will be back in a month.

Part of the List

Style of your hair,
shape of your eyes and your nose,
the way you stare
As if you see, right through to my soul,

It's your left hand and the way
that it's not quite as big as your right,
the way you stand in the mirror
before we go out at night,

Our quiet time,
your beautiful mind,

They're a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

The way you sweet smell
lingers when you leave a room,
(you leave a room)
Stories you tell as we lay
in bed all afternoon.
(all afternoon)

I dreamed you now every night
in my mind is where we meet.
(my mind is where we meet)
and when I'm awake
staring at pictures of you asleep.

Touching your face,
invading you space.

They're a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

Oooh, and you'll live in my memories forever more I swear.
And you'll live in my memories forever more I swear.

They're a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile, or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

Oh-whoa-whoa
Oh-whoa-whoa
Oh-whoa-whoa

Oh-whoa-whoa
Oh-whoa-whoa

Shoes or babies??

2009-08-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

My desi triplets.

My oldest.

My ribbon lovers

My elegant party girls.

My beautiful new borns

Together we are family! =)

2009-08-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

If my friends didn't feel sorry for you
I would kick your plastic fat barbie ass until you forget your name
Watch out bitch because in case you haven't heard
The BITCH is back in action
Burn in hell wannabe barbie =)

I may be a bitch but i am no whore.

2009-08-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

So,things have been pretty bad.
Who am I kidding it has been horrible.
but whatever who am I to complain about my life.
Anyways things(including Keshav's blog,a few words from Sean and complete realisation) has made me think that things are not gonna be the same next year.
Which is kinda depressing because we are kinda gonna be apart.
I am gonna miss randomly going to Free school, I am gonna miss being in class with Dharsh, Isabelle and Mee Quin. I am gonna miss MCD in school uniform.
I gonna miss you guys who are going off to God knows where.
All of us had our fair share of fighting. I guess it should end.
Whatever it's worth you guys made this year the best year of my teenage years.
And I guess I have been a burden in a way that I have been to hard on you.
but as I said you hurt me real bad and I am not the only one. You made it so easy to just hate you and I seriously did but now I realised it isn't worth it. Sometimes I wish you understand, I wish you knew the true story. I wish you I could tell you what I never told anyone but I was trying to throw it all away but someone had to bring it up. Someone with no God damn right who deserved to be killed but I get it now. I am not gonna throw my anger on you for something you didn't do but I am gonna tell you that what you did put a hole in my heart. Therefore, Paalan I am gonna be nice but you gotta give me sometime, I haven't been talking to anyone about what has been going on but you should understand. I don't know what you are doing to fix things but whatever I think your still doing makes me want to break your face.=S
Don't worry about me as you said I am the stronger one.
Go do whatever you have to do and prove me wrong.
I can never not call you my friend because you and me have been through quite a bit that only you and me know about. So no matter what your mean ass, down to earth, straight to face bitch is always here for you. For the record you have seen the most honest side of me.
What you did and said is forgiven but never forgotten.
I may be a bitch but I am no whore

wannabe barbie can kiss my shinny white ass

poke,
Luv

Another weekend...

2009-08-23T05:00:00.001-07:00

SO........This was another one of those weekends... I was invited to Dhivia party which I heard was awesome but i couldn't go because of *not to be mentioned online* lol! but this is what I was supposed to wear =(

The next day, me and the family went to Batu Feringghi, since my aunt from Washington is down i am guessing we will be having more outings than usual . Which is awesome. So we all went there. Not forgetting the babi est babi from KL Shereen Liang *jeng jeng jeng* tagged along.

We went to sunset bistro but there was no sunset lol! Cheesy wedges and chicken wings all the way!! woooooo.....

The pemabuks of the family

Me, Sean, Shereen and Kieren sat at the beach,hid from my dad while we sharing lame jokes and getting hyper =) Minah bodoh hiding her beer can =D

Later on, we went to Ananda Bhavan to have awesome food even though i still prefer Kapitans but oh well =)

The bodoh people

Me and Minah never failed to have loads of 'fun' in the room ! hahah sean... =D

The next day, I went for TFA'S food and fun fair thingi. It was loads of fun =) I went for acupuncture( if thats how you spell it) It was painful but they needles in me which was pretty cool.

Divya! The DJ dudette =)

THE END!
All i wanted was KFC and baskin robbins =(

I am gonna miss you Reena Tasya!

2009-08-16T06:24:00.000-07:00

For old times sake =)

We had a farewell for Reena.
A girl, a friend and always a Viva =)
I am gonna miss you! DON'T BECOME AMO! LOL

im SORRY

2009-08-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

IM SORRY I GOT YOU IN THIS
IM SORRY YOUR SUCH A BITCH
IM SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN MYSELF
IM SORRY I DUMPED YOU
IM SORRY YOU HATE ME
IM SORRY I CANT TAKE IT
IM SORRY IM NOT STRONG
IM SORRY YOU WERE M BESTFRIEND
IM SORRY I HATE YOU
IM SORRY IM UGLY
IM SORRY IM ME
I AM JUST SORRY....

im sorry Dharshini, that you guys fought because of me
Im sorry Keshav that I haven't been myself
I am sorry Paalan that had to say those things
I am sorry Chittesh that you had to see me like this
I am sorry Sean that your are always my shoulder to cry on
I am sorry Savi that im putting your life in danger
I am sorry Ash that you are always there to cheer me up.

and... I am sorry you guys think i am such a whore.

I AM SORRY LUVENIA THAT LIFE IS SUCH A BITCH

ON THE RANGE OF KILLING MYSELF =)

Island girl hits the city!

2009-08-10T04:15:00.000-07:00

This whole weekend, I went to Kuala Lumpur...All I can say is WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! LOL.
S, as i arrived my all time awesome 'sis-in law' picked me up and took me to her 'tengah renovation' house =) Of course i stayed there. However, I left her to study and went to the city.I LOVE YOU SHEREEN LIANG!!!!!!!!! Sharlene Liang, selalu facebooking.

On the first day of my visit. I was brought around KL by Rishant and we were joined by Sherliza and Atiya later on. Rishant and I TALKED AND TALKED AND TALKED. I never knew he could actually talk.LOL! He took me round in his car which had funny speakers lol! We had lunch at Mak Kwan's cause Rishant said that I had to try 16 ringgit nasi lemak which was surprisingly extremely awesome. We went around trying to look for stuff. Shopping! but no luck. Everything was way too expensive for my liking.

This is Athiya.

Sherliza the ultimate cam whore=)

Rishant, the guy who claims he isn't a cam whore!

When, I went back to Shereen's place we planned to watch twilight but i dozed off.LOL! The next morning, I started my day by wish uncle Sraveanan HAPPY BIRTHDAY!=) Then got dressed and Shereen's mummy sent me to the hotel.Which by the way was way beyond awesome. On the way to the hotel, I saw a CLOWN DRIVING A CAR!!! LOL!
Later on, I took a walk and had lunch at my all time favourite spot for teppenyaki in Sungei Wang.

After that, I walked around, got lost, went to Pavilion and got some strawberry shorbet!

I cam whored and cam whored and cam whored.lol!

and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored and cam whored

Then, I headed back to the hotel to get ready for the big night. So people were wondering what was in that big box I carried every where. See for yourself! LOL. I slowly got ready. When i say slowly I mean slowly. I had soooo much time to waste.. =)

So this was the product! lol.. Whore make up, a cute outfit and heels too high for my height. =)

Did I mention the ballroom was so so so so so beautiful. Lights everywhere! It felt like a grammy award which was kinda of the whole point. A room full of pharmacist dressed up. Now that is something I have never seen in my life.

So, I met Poojhaa after like years who had recently change her name spelling because of astrology reasons. We talked and talked just to catch up. Roshan was the DJ. They are both practically married. So yea...

Everyone in the ballroom thought I was a pharmacist until they saw me like this. HAHAHA! I am a belly dancing pharmacist.

After the performance, I got changed but then I realised I didn't take pictures, so I changed back! Well, I am an ultimate cam whore. So we took pictures.
This is Poojhaa, Michael Jackson dude and I

I was amazed by the dessert because it looks like this but it was actually made off sugar!

After the event, Bharti and her friends took me to a Punjabi pub called Mumbai se. I wasn't allowed to take pictures but I didn't know so I took them anyway. It is a place where punjabi girls dance and seduce and get tips from the guys who watch but no prostitution and no touching.

In the morning, I was alone and hyper! ahahahah! I don't know why. So, Iwent for breakfast, got ready and took a cab to the airport.

In starbucks , I had lunch and read an article. Somehow Sean came to my mind as they stated that smokers have less sexual attraction. LOL! After that I got on the plane and sat next to a random lady with a really cute baby! heheh

Everyone should totally do what I did! Take a trip to the city! but do not forget to put on your h1n1 mask! PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE!

suprised to see my house looking like this when i reached home !

xoxo
Luv

Luvenia Kalia loves you!

2009-08-07T06:36:00.000-07:00

My hospital stay =)

2009-08-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

What do people do in hospitals? wait....wait....wait....and wait =D
I got checked in to get an MRI.
OOOOO... AND I FOUND OUT I'M H1N1 NEGATIVE! LOL
I got checked into a maternity ward because all the wards were full of suspected h1n1.
daddy said, wow.. i thought i would be a lot older when this day would come...
The I for my MRI... I swear I also fainted in there ....claustrophobic much?
It was an experience but kinda boring.. and my ward-mates father thought me how to open a bottle of nail polish when it is too tight. BY TYING A RUBBER BAND AROUND IT TO ADD GRIP. (genius I tell you) =)

So this Saturday morning I will be heading to KL.=) And I am going to trouble Riri to wake up way too early on a weekend to pick me up from the air port...lol! I will be back Monday afternoon and Penang is so gonna miss me. =)

xoxo
Luv

Munna sadha GAY! GAY! Mandaladala!!!!!

2009-08-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

First of all ignore my title if you don't understand! lol
I went for Pooja's wedding and it was awesome. I know... party during exams is not right but now I feel soo relaxed. Last night i was soo happy it was like I was drunk =) Lol.
Even though i totally screwed up my performance I got 50 bucks! THANK YOU JI!
I LOVE PUNJABI WEDDINGS AND I LOVE BEING PUNJABI!
but it is weird when people see you singing along and act shocked because they think your chinese.
OH well!!! BILO RANI!! LAL GANGRA! TODAY IS A PUNJABI SONGS RUSHING THROUGH MY HEAD DAY! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

thumbs up to:
Kirti Sharma
Aunty Sumi
Rohini Sharma
Natasha Khanum
Sonia
Melinder
Madhu
Sunny (lol)
Bombay rockers(i forgot their names)OOOPPSS
Honey's dad (lol)
And a bunch of random people I danced with

Not forgetting congratulations to Pooja and Vikrant =)

2009-07-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

SCREW MERDEKA! MERDEKA!
SCREW KAPTEN HASSAN!
SCREW SEJARAH!
SCREW BM!

A blast from the past.

2009-07-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

A heart broken girl, who felt like everyone hated her for what she has done...
She lost everyone in her life, for something she was ashamed of...
Everyone was against her including the once she loved the most....
So much hurt to conceal.. So many bitter words She would never forget...
The sound of cruel laughter...The words of intoxication...
A broken heart by a friend( don't worry I forgive you and i know you were drunk)
As I sat there alone...a saw my reflection through the window, a tear drop rolled down my face.
As I walked out to the balcony, I realised I wasn't alone..
He said: You have been through to much.
I : Yes I have....I just wish I could go back to that time when I didn't know the meaning of sorrow
He: Your crying again. Do you really think it is worth it.
I: I got what I deserved, everyone I ever trusted just turned their back on me.
He: Did you ever trust me? Because I am right here.
I: I don't want you to be. You should hate me for what i have done.
He: Shut up and stop crying.
I: Let me cry..
He: Look at you. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met.When you smile you can make anyone happy. Anyone who makes you tear like this should be ashamed of their selves. I don't say your beautiful because you put on a pretty dress and jewelry. I say your beautiful because I know you deep down and you wouldn't want to hurt anyone. You are beautiful inside out.
I: You still love me don't you..
He: Just cheer up and let go have some fun, aight?

This song reminded me of that night.

I saw you yesterday,
It's been a while
You tried but failed
At holdin' back your smile right then
It's not over yet, I knew, for you

(You see)
I couldn't sleep
I thought of nothin' else
I needed help
Everyone was tellin' me
You were movin' on with someone else
But what we had was so special
People can be jealous, oh
I had to see it for myself

I can see it in your eyes
You feel the same about us as I
There is no way the truth can be disguised
You're still in love with me
You were never really out of love with me
Your eyes don't lie

I know I hurt ya,
I know you are hurtin' still (mmm, yeah)
But I'll make it up to you
Yeah, baby, I will
'Cause what we had was so special
You know we can't give it up
Now that I'ma lookin' at you I can see

I can see it in your eyes (your eyes)
You feel the same about us as I
There is no way (there is no way)
The truth can be disguised
You're still in love with me
You were never really out of love with me
Your eyes don't lie
And they never will, girl

Oh, now that I know
We were apart but your heart never let go
So thank you for showin' me with one look
What used to be, and still is, a possibility

I can see it in your eyes
You feel the same about us as I
There is no way the truth can be disguised
You're still in love with me
You were never really out of love with me
Your eyes don't lie
Your eyes don't lie

Don't run from love, because it will keep chasing you until you accept it....

SO....

2009-07-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

So...
Lol
I just found out I AM NOT GONNA DIE yet.lol
I Have an awesome life.
I mean awesome friends, awesome family, what more do i want?
stupid me all i do is complain.
but hey! look at me! im not the girl who revolves around drama anymore. I am not LUVENIA but i am Luvenia =)
Things have change, situations have change and so should I.
Life, it was bitter, now i got nothing to complain about except my past. THERE IS A REASON THEY CALL IT PAST! LOL. BECAUSE IT IS OVER.
So, yesterday morning, I woke up thinking I was going to die, and started thinking about my stupid past and the person I used to be.
but, this morning I, Luvenia Kalia, woke up and told myself, life is beautiful, it may not be perfect but i love my life. I told myself today is just what I need to feel alive again. =)
HELLO PENANG! BECAUSE LUVENIA KALIA IS NOT YOUR EMO SHIT ANYMORE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OH, BTW THE BITCH IS GONNA PAY.
lol
I am a threat and I know it. =)

a word to Paalan, your gonna suffer like I did because you don't listen to the people who care, who love. You lost me, you might just lose another.

word,
Luvenia

My weekend

2009-07-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend was different. VERY DIFFERENT. Well on friday, Chittesh ditched me and I didn't get to watch Harry Potter. So yea everyone can rub it in my face =D Chittesh ditched completely while I listen to everyone decide my future. Fun? Yes, but the upside was I spent the night at Chittesh's place. Keerti and me talked and talked. And we became Chittesh mummies because he is going to fail his SPM . The boy doesn't study. We watched white chick until we fell asleep. Keerti watched the whole movie and felt so proud.

The next day. We woke up early. Keerti and me were forcing Chittesh to do his physics essays. He did two! I know impressive right but it was a lot of work. Then me and Keerti studied like mad. After that, me and keerti went to Prangin and met the second tallest man in the world! We felt so bad for him. He was like a show. Stupid people can be so cruel! I love you big guy! we took a picture with him. He is 27 years old and is from punjab. Then, we went to watch ice age. ooohhh! and i got my glasses =D

Later at night, the Shuklas and the Kalias got together at the Penang Sports club for dinner. It was pretty good. Then, I bumped into Syameer sayang.Little boy all grown up. Chittesh,Keerti and me went to the playgrounda and camwhored =D Felt like a kid again.

At night, my mood was gone. I felt so alone no one to talk to. Smsed paalan, but he just gets horny. lol. Msg Sean and he tried to cheer me up. Thank you. I love you. My shoulder to cry on since forever. Love him to bits. Cried myself to sleep for no particular reason.

This morning I went to temple and found out I will be partying in KL after trials. Will be going down for a show. LOL. Belly dancing tribute to Michael Jackson.

People from KL welcome back to the island of death.

girls against the bastards

2009-07-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

So how many of you girls have been treated like toys?
how many of you girls have been whistled at and teased?
how many of you girls have been touched inappropriately?
how many of you girls have been chased and stalked by guys who want nothing but a screw buddy?
How many rape cases have you read in the papers?

What the fuck did we do to deserve this shit? What happen to women's rights?Why the hell, when a girl talks to a guy she gets called a slut but when a guy flirts around people say 'boys will be boys' what kinda shit is that? We do not deserve to be treated like a piece of meat that every tiger wants to eat. If you are a guy who likes to whistle at random girls because they look hot, go dig a hole if your so desperate and girls if you actually acknowledge these ass holes you should so get a reality check. Where is your dignity? HOW THE HELL DO WE STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHTS? WHEN WE DON'T DESERVE IT.

If you get whistled by any other guy on the road, stick up your magic finger and tell him to go dig a hole. If a guy calls you up and say hey sexy i saw you on facebook tell him to screw him computer screen. If your boyfriend is abusive and treats you like a screw buddy tell him to go superman a whore. If any guy touches you GET HIM ARRESTED. Don't keep quiet.

Guys do this because they have issues and they think that they are guys and there is nothing wrong with screwing every thing that moves. You know why because that how every body's mind set is nowadays. So, if anybody says boys will be boys. Tell them to shut up.

Every girl is some body's daughter,sister,mother, girlfriend, friend or even role model. Respect the female race because we are much more than meat.

inspired bu this song
Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no
Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY

(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

The future!

2009-07-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today all i heard was Luvenia! study!
luvenia do medicine! Luvenia become a teacher!
Luvenia get straight A's!
LUVENIA!!! You have to do dance!
LUVENIA! LUVENIA!
get into science stream!
go to India!
do dentistry!

I MEAN COME ON HOW MANY DAMN THINGS DO YOU WANT ME TO DO???!!!!

I may not seem like the type but all i want is a simple career in dance and maybe a back up with a happy family maybe kids....

Seriously, it is just PMR i wonder how the pressure would be for SPM!

I AM SOO PRESSURED

but you unintentionally cheer me up as I read your status: I love my wonderwall! =)

Six packs?

2009-07-15T23:44:00.000-07:00

All girls go guga over this. PACKS! ABS! Why? because it is hot... LOL

BUT! Do guys go for packs? abs? I mean to me it is freaking ugly. I mean pack on girl are freaking scaryyyyyy......maybe a little is fine but not to the extend that you can compare it to Mr world.

So guys? Which is sexier? A girl that has more packs than you. Or a girl with a flat stomache like this.lol. I really wonder.......

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

2009-07-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

YOU DO NOT CONTROL MY LIFE ANYMORE
YOU SON OF A BITCH
YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVEN HELL ISN'T BAD ENOUGH FOR YOU!

No longer selfish

2009-07-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

So Today was fun =)
3 rd happiest day of my life.
Then i come online......
and i realise that ever facebook status and every damn blog has something so depressing..... I mean I have pretty depressing blog post and most of them are about me, me and ME. So a lot of people come to me and say "Luvenia, what should I do?"
I get that a lot therefore Dharsh calls me the mahaguru of relationships. WTF? I know right. So here it is...

1. Boyfriends(mostly girls only)
This happens to be the number one depressing blog post and so... If your boyfriend doesn't give you more than you deserve. Give him a taste of his own medicine. The bitch treatment. At the end of the day, if he doesn't get back to you and ask you what did i do wrong? You deserve way better.

If your boyfriend seem to be going out a lot with people you don't really like. There are two things to think about. Do you trust him? (don't give the same shit line I don't trust the people around him) If you do stop stressing. BUT. If he doesn't deserve to be trusted, put your foot down and say "i don't like what your doing" Instead of acting like it is ok and hoping he will figure it out by himself.

If your boyfriend has an anger management problem that cannot be fixed. LEAVE HIM!

If you are afraid to show him how you feel. Don't be. If he really loves you he would appreciate everything you say.

If you are not treating your boyfriend/girlfriend right. Think! Fix yourself and your attitude. Think does she/he really deserve this?

2.Is your family giving you shit?

If your parents argue all the time. Tell them you can't take it anymore. Make them realise that they are not the only members of the family.

If you can't seem to get along with your sibling. Try to talk to him/her/it. At least you know that you have done your part.

If your parents control you too much. You are a teenager that thinks you know what is out there. You are wrong. Parents do that for your own good. I for one am a stubborn child and I have been through a lot to admit that.

3. Best friends

If your best friend seems different go up to her/him ask him/her to open up and if him/her is not ready to talk about it just try to cheer him/her up. It helps =D

If your best friend is turning into a slut or a bastard. Tell him or her that you think they are wrong and if they deny it. At least you tried.

4.Self issues

If you envy the coolest girl in school. DON'T because she is a probably a problematic person who just wants attention. Plus, maybe if you knew her well, she is just like any other person.

If you feel like there is no reason to live and your all alone. Call someone. Talk to a friend. Or call me! I'll make you feel better. =D

If you are not happy with the way you look. Go and watch BIGGEST LOST on astro and you will realise your pretty close to perfect. If not, go visit the spastic home and realise how sad it is to see such children suffer while you are complaining about that little tummy you have.

5. If you have problems getting over someone.

If you loved someone so much and you realised that she/he has someone else. Hope and pray that she is happy because maybe it is not meant to be. Find someone who makes you feel special. If it was meant to be love will find a way. If not... love has already found a way for him/her. It is your turn now.

If you gave up someone because you were unhappy but you still love him/her. Think about the way he/she treated you. You know you deserve better.

6. If you lost someone near and dear to you to God.

This happened to me once. Eventually, you will realise she/he is watching over you like a guardian angel. She/he is in a better place and doesn't have to suffer this cruel world anymore. She/he lived their lives and would want you to live yours.

"If i lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world?"

Never feel alone, because I am here with you in your heart forever and ever.

You know you love me
xoxo
luv

CHEER 2009

2009-07-06T04:23:00.000-07:00

It is 6.47 pm. I haven't showered, I woke up about an hour ago. Now this is how tiring Cheer leading can be. We are not a bunch of pretty girl jumping around in short skirt. We are hardworking, inspiring and extra happy people. =)It takes a lot to cheer I am extremely proud of my fellow cheerleaders from Vivacious!!! We got first runner up for the Nothern region title.

This has been amazing and I am extremely sad that its all over now. My birthday is also over. It wasn't exactly the best but i was happy that I got to spend it with my fellow VIVAS. Keshav and Dharshini had a 'who is going to wish Luvenia first' but Ashwin won! =D I woke up way early in the morning went to school and for the first time ever I WAS AS EARLY AS ANDREA. Of course you always need a group picture before leaving.

As soon as we reached there, we got our rooms!!! I will never forget room 348 anf my wonderful roomy Janice Ang! We decided to keep the place clean but at the end of our trip it didn't exactly work but we had loads of fun just cam whoring in the room. When we were early I swear we camwhored for 20 minutes. =)

On our first day we went to some random field to practice and Kheen became CHEER GOD, Li yen got a pretty t shirt, Fo hun met his soul mate DISCO STICK and U-sern got back the notebook we ruined. Full of spirit we manage to hit the stunt though our gigantic banner was a bit of a hassle but we did it. VIVA LA VIVA!

I was soo impressed with the dinner this time.Not only was the food delicious but the dining hall was AIR-CONDITIONED AND PRETTY! After dinner, M.I.L.D went walking opposite the hotel. We went to THE STORE which is kinda like tesco. =) I had loads of fun though it was like for a while. As we got back to the room we had some shandy and MAGGI!!! Then, Andrea came in and said 'Luvenia go to your room now!' hehehe mummy says go! This is a picture of us drying the banners when i came out of the shower.

The morning of competition, everybody was completely nervous. We headed to Bukit Jalil stadium and I ate butterflies! We did our thing with encouragement from our awesome coaches! We manage to hit all the stunts and was quite satisfied form our performance. Top 15 bebeh!

My darlings of course came to give some support and I finally got to meet shereen's twin sister, Sharlene. Well, she is a bit of a wacko just like me! =)

M.I.L.D had our fun cam whoring and spending time together. Mee Quin, Isabelle, and Dharshini! I love you all!!!

I loved the coaches t shirts!! Look at the second team! WOOO. Haha. I'm going to miss our lucky charm, Disco stick!!

After the first day, everyone was quite tired but still we managed to have tons of fun. U-sern trying to cheer everyone up. Lol . We had a sexy cherry eating competition to see who can eating a cherry in the horniest way! I personally think Isabelle should win the most horniest of all trophy. Hannah Tan and her curiosity is all we need to laugh. Later on we all started dancing and getting stares from everyone. The hotel people even on the spotlights and we started dancing in the DINING HALL and making a fool out of ourselves. Not forgetting the lap dancing by Kheen Ho and Isabelle. He can be pretty scaring when he starts showing of his legs. ooo and I got a lap dance by ANDREA ONG! wooooo This was the discussion with the coaches. The talk really gave us a boost for the next day =)
U-sern taught it was snowing because he had hair moose on his head. That is the reason why he was so sick the next day! IT IS SNOWING!!!

Did I mention the crowd was crazy? Well, not as crazy as last year but pretty crazy.Plus we had our supportive parents and friend all the way from Penang! We did really well the next day. I was so impressed. Seriously! Vivacious has come a long way!

I met Mahesh my little buddy, all grown up after quite a long time. I told him to wear red but he didn't listen! YELLOW..... -.-

My funny little juniors I tell you. So adorable, they make me laugh. We had A7W at the sungai Buloh jejantas before heading back for Penang. These HANNAHS I tell you. Muda-muda but going gugu gaga over the stunners boys. Hannah you can so marry him =)

Over all, cheer 2009 was a smashing experience and I am gonna miss it like crazy. I am going to miss practicing like crazy, motivation talks, the after fun etc. As Andrea always says we are forever peas in a pod =)I love you guys!!
All my thanks to :
Kheen Ho
Fu hun
Li Yen
U-sern
Dharshini Shankar
Isabelle Khor
Ooi Mee Quin
Janice Ang
Ker Lyn
Andrea Ong
Hannah Tan
Hannah Chan
Megan Low
Tan Ni Wen
Delicia Nair
Reena Tasya
Cassandra
Shu Wen
Amierah Amalina
Amirah
Chih Pei
Cheryl Tan
Tara
Shereen Liang
Sharlene Liang
Mahesh JK
All the parents
Mummy
Raaj
Abo
Awatif
Fatin
Wahidah
Khalilah
Aza Iza
Elizebeth

This was our last picture with Falcons, Stompers and Warriors. The team kawans lol

Vivacious will be back next year!
With more surprises!
More spirit!
VIVA LA VIVA FOREVER!
Luvenia Kalia is proud to be a VIVA DIVA!

It is 9.03 pm and i'm going to study..

I HATE THIS

2009-07-02T03:44:00.001-07:00

I try to understand your situation. I try to understand you but i realised your just the same. Your just like all of them. You don't care . You just pretend to. I took you seriously. What did you do?? BETRAYAL, hurt. I can't believe after everything we have been through. Everything I told you. Your just another one. I just wish I could have a friend. FOR ONCE with no surprises, no drama, nothing. I thought you understood. I wish you did. Blinded by your emotional blackmail. YES. That is exactly what it is. You say your trying but your not. You just assumed. I HATE ASSUMPTIONS. Do not blame others for your mistakes, especially if those others are the people i adore. Betrayed. I can't believe i stood up for you. Fought for you. I really didn't care because I loved the person i thought you were. Again, another mistake. There will never be an US. I guess there is another side of you I don't know and the grass there is not any greener.
----------------------------------
2ND JULY! Luvenia Kalia's birthday eve. How did it start? Me punching the blackboard going hysterical. What is happening to me? I used to be able to hold everything together so well? Have i reached the peak?Where I can't take it anymore? My emotions are taking over me and I don't like it. I want Luvenia back.
----------------------------------
You are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. It is all her fault. I have to get over it, move on. I can't do it but I have to. ALL BY MYSELF. I'm having massive mixed emotions and it is killing me. You are so right CHITTESH. I NEED to get into a coma, disappear for a year or two,loose my memory and start over. When no one will remember Luvenia ever lived.
----------------------------------
3 rd July 2009. The day Luvenia turns 15. Let's just see how many more years she has to suffer.
Somehow birthdays are not what I look forward to. It is more of DEATH i look forward to. Nothing but DEATH.

2009-07-01T08:09:00.000-07:00

I am NOT AFFECTED at all!!!!!!!
Go to HELL!
SUCKY BIRTHDAY WEEK!!
I HATE BIRTHDAYS.
WHO AM I KIDDING NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!
NO ONE!
EVERYTHING IS A JOKE!

Random!

2009-06-30T03:27:00.000-07:00

I miss POTO =(
It is Luvenia week lets see what happens. I have a feeling it will be boring but definitely better than last years.....
I think I'm in love. LIKE SERIOUSLY. I think( people are gonna ask me about this and i am gonna laugh)
I love hugs.
You let me down, I trusted you. I knew you were a bitch but i expected so much more. She is in your hands and I expect you to guard her with your life.
Dharsh chill....
VIVA IS GONNA MAKE PENANG PROUD!

i GILER THIS SONG

No Boundaries Lyrics

seconds, hours, so many days
you know what you want but how long can you wait
every moment lasts forever
when you feel you've lost your way

and what if my chances were already gone
i started beleiving that i could be wrong
but you gave me one good reason
to fight and never walk away
so here i am still holding on

with every step you climb another mountain
every breath its harder to beleive
you'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
to get to that one place
when you think the road is going no where
just when you almost gave up on your dreams
they take you by the hand
and show you that you can
there are no boundaries
there are no boundaries

i fought to the limit to stand on the edge
what if today is as good as it gets
dont know where the futures heading
but nothings gonna bring me down

jummped every bridge
run every line
i risk being safe
i always knew why, i always knew why
so here i am still holding on

with every step you climb another mountain
every breath its harder to beleive
you'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
to get to that one place
when you think the road is going no where
just when you almost gave up on your dreams
they take you by the hand
and show you that you can

you can go higher
you can go deeper
there are no boundaries
above and beneath you
break every rule 'cause theres nothing between you and your dreams

with every step you climb another mountain
every breath its harder to beleive
you'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
to get to that one place
when you think the road is going no where
just when you almost gave up on your dreams
they take you by the hand
and show you that you can

there are no boundaries
there are no boundaries
there are no boundaries
no boundaries
yeah, there are no boundaries

VIVA SPIRIT

2009-06-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

TO MY FELLOW CHEERLEADERS!
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
SO, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND STAY STRONG!
WE ARE GONNA BEAT OURSELVES THIS WEEKEND!
VIVA LA VIVA!
LET'S BRING US BACK THE PRIDE OF VIVACIOUS!
LOVE YOU GUYS!

The journey has ended....

2009-06-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

The phantom of the opera, an amazing experience, an opportunity to meet new people or just appreciate the people you keep close to you. So much hard work,commitment and dedication to produce a successful performance. Many people would call it a normal high school play but not me. To me, it was more, much more..

Thank you Lara, for taking time from your busy schedule. You the bomb!

Dharshini Shankar, you sure have come a long way. I am so proud of you

My stupid bitch =) I love you Phantom! Hurt her and I'll kill you =)

Cousins, or shall we say friends? Whatever it is, it is an amazing relationship. 15 years of my life with this stupid boy and no regrets. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

You have no idea how tiring it was. =s

Old friends realising that there was something more than before(if you know what i mean).

Meeting new friends.

I look awesome in this picture =). No offense Shav.=) Keshav and I, we have been through quite a bit haven't we?

Janice, as Lara said my happy cheerleader friend. Soon to be room mate. Let's just say our friendship has grown this past 3 year. Love ya loads!! s&j hahahaha

Body shop+food+my room=keshav,Tonie,Luvenia and Chittesh fun time =)

I am so freaking proud of you two =). Feeling short for once.

Our amazing director, him and Grace really put so much effort in this. Baring with all of us, imagine the torture. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Gonna miss 'chiak time' =(

KEZ hair studio, 'Don't you sista me' hahaha

The fan dance didn't turn out so bad after all.

Putting my heart and soul into the performance =) Even though, it gave me massive 'ochehs' it was all worth it....

Hide your face so the world will never find you! lol

Tonie's piggy!!! I couldn't find the face=(

Unleashing my inner goofy self on stage =)

The beautiful ending. That brought tears to my eyes. Full of joy yet I'm sad it's all over now. The practices,the laughter, the ups and downs, the eating time, the togetherness. I'm going to miss it. I am so proud of each and everyone of you all.

It isn't hard to realise that you have pretty amazing friends. Extremely goofy, extraordinary individuals but together we are one and strong. People like this don't come and go because even if they are not right beside you, they still exist in your heart. To all of you guys, the cast of The Phantom of the Opera, thank you, for such an amazing experience. Throw away all the misunderstandings and cherish the moments that we have spent together. The people who made it all happen:

Matthew Kang
Grace Kang
Chittesh Shukla
Fong Sue Yen
Theyvapaalan
Dharshini Shankar
Keshav Indran
Kadir
Faizal
Mr Ooi
Scott Ooi
Benedict
Lara Maria
Janice Ang
Rathi
Pei Zhi
Not forgetting all the lighting,sound,costumes and props, they were big help =)

To my fellow dancers Lara, Janice and Dharsh! So freaking proud of you guys. I you want to watch yourself:
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=121141084007&h=dRm1l&u=gvE0-&ref=mf

It is over now, the music of the night........

LALALALALA WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-21T05:48:00.000-07:00

WHATS ON MY MIND???

21 January 2007( heart drops to the floor)
The phantom of the opera*jeng jeng jeng*(soundtrack plays)
What is there to like about me??
Why is everybody on PDA mode??
Viva la viva!!! cheer competition ( song plays * beating you is so much fun)
I feel sexy. You should too!! =)
I have sexy bonez!! you don't! hahahahahaha
Why am i running out of colours???
Now I'm running out of words! oh,well JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!

A thought

2009-06-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things suck.
Sometimes things are really bad.
Sometimes it makes you extremely sad.
And sometimes it feels like dying is not such a bad idea.

Your past is like a shadow,
It will haunt you forever,
but away from the light,
the shadow is gone.
most of us hide in the dark,
To take the shadow away.
but sooner or later you realise,
That it can come back any day.

A way to make you forget everything,
To clear your mind,
Even though it will,
Take some time.
Sit down alone,
And close your eyes,
Empty your thoughts,
Maybe shed some tears,
but it will help you to over come your fears.

As you are aware of your emotions,
There is no other potion,
Then to be aware of your mistakes,
So it will remain as past.

The night is dark,
The day is almost over,
Its time to say my prayer,
And tomorrow a new day shall occur....

What luvenia is in to?

2009-06-16T06:55:00.001-07:00

1. Red lips

2. Mascara

2.Pumps

4. Formal shirts

5. Scottish skirts

Ashamed

2009-06-16T06:51:00.000-07:00

I woke up...
Looked in the mirror!
scream and cried!
I hate myself
as much as i hate you
go to hell!
GET A LIFE!
LEAVE ME ALONE..
I am so angry, but sad and haih.

Why?

2009-06-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like you are being watched?
I don't feel I know!
All my life people I don't know, know me... people i don't want to know, know everything about my personal life. Where I go? What I do? I mean seriously how about getting a life. Some people would call it cool being the popular kid but seriously it is worse than you can ever imagine. Especially when you are only 13.....Why do I have to tolerate this shit?

PRANKS! Are they funny?? NO! Not when you play with ones emotions, not when you hurt someone. NOT WHEN IT INVOLVES PERSONAL INFO. I mean seriously if you have played a prank on someone and hurt them so bad. GO SCREW YOURSELF.

LUVENIA KALIA. People tend to go OMG every time they hear that name.
LUVENIA= glamour, guys, money, friends. BULLSHIT
Luvenia=stalkers,people who want to ruin your life,empty wallets, ass holes and bitches
The more famous you get the more stress!

DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I HAVE NEVER BEEN HEARTBROKEN??
I have! Bad! Even when I never did anything wrong. What did i do? I got over it. I let go!
Why can't other people do that. When it's over and done what is the point of harassing.
LET ME BE HAPPY!!!! I just want a life, a happy one. Would you seriously want to be with someone whom you are forcing into a relationship.
Are you harassing your ex girlfriend/boyfriend? If you are, I feel sorry for you. You need a life. Who's fault was it?? When you can't make things work you end it. It's the way it is. DEAL WITH YOUR DAMN EMOTIONS AND STOP BEING A BITCH!

How? can I feel pity and sad for someone who has ruined my life and broken me into pieces. How can I???? Why???? What the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why? Why? I can handle these things one by one but when one comes rushing to you in one day. That is bad. I can't take all this. I can't! Why do I have to deal with this??? OFFICIALLY THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. When everything comes back to you! EVERY DAMN THING. When you feel like murder isn't such a bad idea. WHEN YOU ARE SO DAMN ANGRY but actually just a kid hiding her emotions, her stress, her feelings, a kid that just wants a shoulder to cry on instead of her keyboard, a kid who wants to let out her emotions but can't, a person, a girl who has lost herself confidence because every scar, every wound, every bruise, never seem to go away. The only thing that has gone is her sincere laugh, her sincere smile, her true self, her self confidence. I used to be LUVENIA KALIA the perfect one, the confident dancer, now I'm just Luvenia the weak one who can't fight her own battles. Luvenia is dead. Everyone misses her and so do I. why. Why. WHY.

You were right the confidence in me is dead. Therefore, my spark no longer exist.Thank you. For being there for me. I LOVE YOU.

What happens in a hair salon??

2009-06-13T02:53:00.000-07:00

Random shit

2009-06-06T04:48:00.000-07:00

SO...I was going through my stuff and i found an abandon diary from the beginning of the year and i was pretty amused by what I wrote in it. lol

1st January 2009
A place i belong....
The clock strikes 12, a whole new year. It was different this time. So much joy with the people I love. They made me feel so at home. Hugs and kisses to start the year. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad this year. Phone calls, some good, some bad, but nothing was going to spoil my moment under the stars, wondering if that girl is still there, the one who smiles not to make other people happy but to make herself happy. A start of a new beginning and hopefully a beautiful ending to come.

Still surviving,
Luv

7th January 2009

A-W-K-W-A-R-D. Her and I couldn't spell this word any better. haih... Mcdonald fries to cheer me up is what I had. Chittesh and Paalan(nostril boy) belanja me! Narinder (snuffles), Keshav (GG boy). Chitz (camera boy), and Paalan (my bitch). Who else can make me laugh like they do. Probably the only people who have never judged me. Sleeppp....sleeepp...study and GG =).

As much as I miss her this is for the best. Even though she is not with me I still know she cares and I do too. Wish she knew the Ash i know. Wish everyone knew him like I do.Poor boy always being judges. He helps me out all the time. People suck! Dharsh also, always there for me. It's true you never know what you've got until it's gone. I don't wanna end up a Jenny Humpfrey. Good friends are so hard to find. I guess I'm lucky=)

xoxo
Luv

9th January 2009

Betrayal, Hatred, bitch, bastard, inconsiderate. These words all in my head. I care about her but I hate her. I hate him. He is an asshole and a disrespectful, egoistic,mess. Humiliation, tears and sorrow, even though Dharsh was there to help. Ash was right, I shouldn't have gone. Dharsh was right, i should have stayed out of trouble. Aaron was right, they are not worth my tears. I had a bad day. I'm feeling so down, i need someone to turn it around.Went to Bagan. Came home, cried myself to sleep.

Broken hearted,
Luv
(lonely girl)

1oth January 2009

Learning to appreciate what I have. Not easy? Well it is for me. The two people who keep me strong and happy that is all I need. These people are what I deserve. A smile on my face makes their world go round. My special and amazing friends, all I need. I may not be the best person to choose my friends but I made no mistake there.

Not so lonely.
Luv

11th January 2009

Tears flowing down like rain. Photographs reminding me of what we used to be. How do i move on? Why do I care. Why? Why? Why can't I be happy like her without me. Why doesn't she see it? How much I miss her? It SUCKS. Trying not to cry. Trying not to think about it. Feeling like no one can replace her. I have to get over it. Ash trying to make me smile, Dharsh tells me whats right. I love them so much but can I get over he fact that there is no us?

Shattered,
Luv

12 January 2009

A connection. That is what I felt but I am the bigger person trying to move on. I don't expect anyone to understand. Dharshini Shankar is a cheerleader! I guess I'm looking forward to cheering this year. Shit 13th Feb, all four of us at one place, what a reunion! Mr bartender turned out to be not so innocent but gugugaga!

Confused,
Luv

1st February 2009

Holidays are over, Oh well! What is this? Why is it when your surrounded by amazing people, you feel alone, empty. It's like you miss the feeling of someone holding you and telling you everything is gonna be just perfect. I agree life without love are lungs without air and lungs without air, is death to a man!

xoxo
Luv

13th February 2009

Absolutely amazing, a crowd, a small one but a noisy one. So much support, so much encouragement from the people i love the most. Paalan's truth finally came out. I'm gonna miss it. Practices together with Keshav,Dharshini, Paalan, Becky, Isabelle, Amy, Natalie....=( Keshav, keshav... I'm confused? Am i jumping to conclusions or what? We will see how this turns out. Live,laugh,love is over!=(

xoxo
alone on Valentines

---------------------------------------------

A LOT has changed, problems have been solved. =)

xoxo
Luv

Memories of my all so hectic life

2009-06-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

Live, laugh,love

Swamiji's samadhi 2007

Pancha Bootha

A salsa performance for the Old Frees Association

Hope The musical

Greenapple's Anual Charity concert

High school musical dance competition in Queensbay Mall

Life in taman muhibah

Deepakalanjali 2008

Vivacious 2008

Reggeina's wedding

Vivacious 2007

Aaja Nachle 2007

Performing for DAP

A private function at E&O Hotel

YWCA's first International Belly dance competition

A leap of faith

Quando quando quando

2009-06-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me quando quando quando
We can share a love devine
Please don't make me wait again

When will you say yes to me
Tell me quando quando quando
You mean happiness to me
Oh my lover tell me when

Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando quando quando
Say it's me that you adore
And then darling tell me when

Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando quando quando
Say it's me that you adore
And then darling tell me when

Whoa lover tell me when
Oh darling tell me when
Oh come on tell me when
Yea tell me when

Dont you see yourself with a partner dancing under the stars in a red gown and a black tux. wooo!!!! Love it!

Nobody

2009-06-03T03:52:00.000-07:00

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

Love this song

A girl can't be who she is if she knows the people she loves will never except her for the person she is and was.. Alone on a mission, it's no mission to mars, but mission through life and to leave with something to be proud of. If i ended my mission tomorrow,it would be incomplete. Still wanting to figure out what i have been doing wrong. Wanting for you to open up to me. I love you for who you are and that will never change. A love song is not what i need, it's a cry for help that will make me happy and trusted.

I miss being little,adorable and sweet. =(

2009-06-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

As a kid i was:
1. Little miss know-all (says daddy)
2. Daddy's girl
3. Mama's girl
4. Teacher's pet
5. Every kindergarten boy's dream come true
6. Every mother's want to have child.
7.A fashion diva
8. The little thing where people go 'awwwwwwwwwwwww!'
9. All hindi movie freak!
10. Dog lover
11. The kindergarten mean girl in pink.
12. The youngest of them all.

What i remember from ten years ago:
1. Going to Thailand and sitting in the filstones car but everyone left me even though i wanted to drive =(
2. Using the swing as and aeroplane.
3. Playing barbie dolls and painting nail with a certain someone(not to be mentioned)
4. Telling Chittesh how annoying my bro is.
5. Walking on Raaj's feet all over my house.
6. Getting kissed by a boy in temple.
7. Having two left feet and learning how to dance from Gayatri,Chittesh and Carisma
8. Wearing lace dresses.
9. Crying at my first day at fernland.
10. A caterpillar on my clothes.
11. Running around in Chittesh's empty pool(i miss your house)=(
12. My first day at ballet class =)
13. Not being to catch up at TFA
14. Swimming with aunty micky
15. Grandma always being there for me. I MISS YOU!

xoxo
Luv

Luvenia is in to:

2009-06-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

1. Smoky eyes

2. Good old fashion hoops!

3. Long beaded chains!

4. Flowy strapless tops! MEOWW

5. Open-toe pumps!

6.Skinny jeans

You will be getting updates of 'what Luvenia is in to' every week or so =)

xoxo
Luv

A mystery...

2009-05-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

Never knew,
I could feel like this,
Like I've never seen the sky,
Want to vanish, inside your kiss,
Seasons may change,
Winter to spring,
But i love you, until the end of time
Come what may,
I will love you until my dying day.

Suddenly the world seems like such a perfect place,
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace,
Suddenly my life doesn't seem like such a waste,
It all revolves around you,
There is no mountain high enough,
No river to wide,
Sing out this song,
And I'll be there by your side,
Storm clouds may gather,
Stars may collide,
but i love you, until the end of time,
Come what may, I will love you until my dying day.

A secret no one will ever know, is what happened that day...

never do something you will regret

never say something you might regret

never break a heart you threat as your own

Never believe that a person deserves better than you..

A past, a story, one I will regret until the end of time. Living in happiness but breathing an ugly past isn't what I wished for.......
----------------------------------------------------
She is happy because she thinks I care. I don't, not anymore. I putting all my memories with her in a box and throwing it away. I will be myself, i will act like a friend but deep down she is dead to me. I'm gonna show her,two people can play the fake game. Prove that her shit simply doesn't effect me anymore. May the best BITCH win. As the song says, you got your new friend but i got homies, you ain't gonna find nobody better than me =)
-----------------------------------------------------
The greatest things you will ever learn, is to love and to be loved in return =)

xoxo
Luv

A song

2009-05-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

When your sad or happy or even just plain bored. A song you can relate to just seems so perfect. It lets out your emotions without needing you to say a word. I, Luvenia Kalia, am not the person you think I am. I am someone who deep inside is wounded but slowly healing. A person who can't bare the pain of loosing someone I really loved. I am also a person who pushes everything away, stay strong and be happy for the people who believe I can. I believe I can, throw my past away, and live life how it's supposed to be.

She killed me but why do I still care? Everything we went through was nothing but a lie.

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day,
Tomorrow was too late,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday..
(would you, Would you)
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you have?
(Would you, Would you)
If today was your last day

(What if, What if, If today was your last day)

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your whole life

(What if, What if)

If today was your last day,
Tomorrow was too late,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday..
(Would you, Would you)
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you have?

(Would you, Would you)

And would you call old friends you never see..
Reminisce memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?

(Would you, Would you)

And would you find that one your dreaming of,
Swear up and down to God above,
That you'll finally fall in love?
(That you'll finally fall in love)
If today was your last day

If today was your last day,
Would you make your mark,
On mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late,
To shoot for the stars,
Regardless of who you are.
So do whatever it takes,
Cause you can't rewind
A moment in this life.
Let nothing stand in your way,
Cause the hands of time
Are never on your side

If today was your last day,
Tomorrow was too late,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you have?
(Would you, Would you)
And would you call old friends you never see..
Reminisce memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
(Would you, Could you)
And would you find that one your dreaming of,
Swear up and down to God above,
That you'll finally fall in love?
(Would you, Would you)
If today was your last day

Things I miss about my India =(

2009-05-26T05:31:00.000-07:00

Pretending to be a kashmiri

Food!!!!!!!!

Family time

Taking pictures with daddy =)

Diwali fire crackers=)

Hanging out with our very own people =)

Being on a rickshaw =)

Dadiji =(

Feeling like your in a hindi movie =)

My fellow village people=(

My kuriehs ;)

My very doll-like cousins =)

My partner in crime! KANIKA!

Meeting random dudes that turn out to be my uncle.

Meeting celebrities at the airport =)

Random kids that come up to you and say "Didi mere tasvir kicho"(sister,take my picture)

The golden temple (beautiful isn't it?)

Horse rides and awesome views =)

Late nights, when the shopping comes to you.

The taj mahal. wow!

xoxo Luv

Nothing more to say

2009-05-23T04:32:00.000-07:00

Black and white sexy-ness =)

2009-05-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

1. The matching outfits!

2. The ashwin high on happy-ness

2. The random posing

3. Some chick I got lucky with.hahah!

4.The caramel cream madness!

5.The best camwhore spot ever!

The Finale

2009-05-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

The gossip girl season finale. Thank you Keshav for giving it to me. Wow. It has made me become so emotional and YES i can relate to gossip girl no matter how sucky that sounds. The stalkers, the gossip, the bitches, the guys,the mean girls etc. The bottom line is, the finale was about friendship and it makes me think I went all over the world looking for someone who understood me and someone to be my very own girl best friend like you see in the movies, they are always there. I went everywhere not realising she was right there. From birth, we went through crazy dance classes, shows, teenage drama, phases,boys, over all, life. It doesn't stop there, it goes on. Who needs a best friend when you have Dharshini Shankar. Now and forever, this friendship shall last. =) i HAD FUN TODAY!! HAHAHA! KDU- MASCOM???? cherry,lemon, or extra push up?

Happy birthday!

2009-05-17T05:44:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DHARSHINI SHANKAR!!!!!!!!!!

Updates.

2009-05-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

hey guys! Sorry i haven't been updating. Pretty much have been busy studying and well i just came back from kl for my auntie's 50TH birthday. I got to catch up with a few cousins and Shereen. She took me for breakfast and did some shopping.

I have news. I opening another blog soon. Well, I got this motivation to open a blog for girls. For girls with no confidence, girl who think their parents are wrong, girls who think their fat, girl who think they need a guy when they are like 10! because every where i go girls are complaining! It's gonna be just my way of trying to help people. So, that will be coming soon.

xoxo
Luv

Stress giler....

2009-05-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

Things coming up:
1.EXAMS (14 May-25 May)
2.Charm training (29 May-31 May)
3. Cheer performance (6 Jun)
4. Greenapple performance (20 Jun)
5. Phantom of the opera (25,26,27 June)
6. Cheer competition Regionals Clinic(26 June)
7. Cheer competition regionals(27 June)
8.Cheer Nationals (4,5 July)
9. PMR Trials (3-7 August)
10. PMR (7-13 october)
11. Luvenia Kalia's funeral -.-